


Of Truths and Reasons

by SHSL_Fangirl



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Forgiveness, Internal Monologue, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Post-Game(s), Romance, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-27
Updated: 2013-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 19:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1060477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHSL_Fangirl/pseuds/SHSL_Fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neku can't forgive Joshua, and he has every reason not to. If someone were to ask him why, they would expect anything other than the true reason...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Truths and Reasons

I can't forgive you.

_You killed me._

All for some pointless little Game that I should never have had anything to do with. Shibuya's fate was your problem, not mine, but you dragged me into it regardless. You treated me like a toy; something to be used, manipulated, played with, and discarded at your own discretion. Whenever you decided I wasn't interesting anymore.

Everything is a game for you, isn't it? Even our 'friendship'. You just like to cut me down. Like to observe the reactions of what you view as a lesser being because it amuses you. In the same way that a human would regard a small creature, like a mouse or some kind of insect. They're worthless. But it's fun to find out just what makes them tick because they're not important enough to be treated with respect and they're simple, far too easy to decipher. Or at least that's how you think of me, I'm sure of it.

But I can forgive you for that. 

_You made me think you cared._

All the times you touched my arm or put your arm around my shoulder, all the times you teased me just to see me blush. All the times you called me cute. All the times you pretended to agree with my beliefs when, in reality, you were silently laughing at me. You were just humouring me, like the musings of a child who knows nothing of the world, whose opinion is far too laughable to ever be taken seriously. 

Now I know that all of that, everything you said and everything you did in that week we spent together, all the moments we spent together - it was all simply because you wanted to make me suffer. So that I would feel even more pain when the truth came in that final form of mocking on your part, with a smirk and a giggle as we parted for the final time.

Yes, all of that...I can forgive you for that, too.

_You killed me a second time._

You forced me into one final game, one you knew that you would win. You knew I wouldn't be able to pull that trigger. You knew how I'd come to care for you. You just found it amusing. 

I should have fired when I had the chance. We both knew I wouldn't. And even now, despite all the hurt and betrayal I feel for you now in my heart, if I could go back to that moment, I still wouldn't. 

See what influence you have over me? I bet you do. I bet you're laughing at me now, wherever you are. Bastard. And I still can't bring myself to hate you. I'm even finding myself anxiously scanning the crowded Scramble, hoping to catch a glimpse of ash-blonde hair. It's pathetic, isn't? I know you think so. And, for the first time, I have to agree with you.

Even more pathetic is that none of that matters. I can forgive you for all of that. No, the reason I can't forgive you - the reason a single tear is streaking silently down my cheek to hit the pavement below - it's entirely different. 

I still don't understand why you spared me. And not just me, but Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, and Shibuya itself. But, honestly, that doesn't matter to me. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I had died that day.

Because I can't forgive you. Not until you realise that this world means nothing to me without you in it.


End file.
